Tuesday, November 20, 2007

"Hold On, Let Me Text My Dealer!!"

Hi Brit-Brit! I love you for enhancing my life with your ridiculous shenanigans and unbrazened trashiness!

Okay, that being said--it's time to address some serious business.

First of all, put on some god damned chapstick. That shit is GROSS.

I understand shamelessly throwing yourself into the Public Eye when you're young and smoking-ass hot, as you were what seems like decades ago. But seriously, when a freight train of alcohol and drugs and Cheetohs has been coursing through your blood since you popped out your latest kid--maybe, just stay home for awhile. Take a breather. Drink some tea and eat organic greens--WHATEVER. I can't even believe how many times I've seen you photographed at a GAS STATION. Or running over peoples feet. Or saying, outside a COURT OF LAW, "Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!" I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP, and that makes me sad. God, girl.

Get it together.

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